Fashion show tips
Itchy's guide to surviving a day at the catwalk
Feature
1: Wear heels (yes men, you too)
Flat shoes do not = non-try hard, they = stumpy. In a room full of gazelle-like beauties, stumpy = bad.
2: Stand near the photographers
You can rely on photographers to be a scruffy, shabby bunch, kind enough to retain some normality despite their proximity to models. We love photographers.
3: Eat beforehand
There won't be even the ghost of a calorie inside. The only thing being consumed was coffee. After eyeing up the polystyrene coffee cups, Itchy accepted an empty stomach.
4: Don't go to the toilet
If you do, you'll be sandwiched between models at the sinks. Wedged before mirrors, you won't be able to avoid this thorn-between-two-roses nightmare. If you can't avoid the call of nature, scuttle out quickly and keep your eyes down at all times.
5: Wear layers and take water
Rows and rows of fashionistas jammed next to each other like well-dressed canned sardines is mighty hot. Both literally and metaphorically. Sweaty is not sexy.
6: Bring a working camera
Itchy had to resort to scribbling notes on a crumpled press release, silently cursing our broken camera. A picture tells a thousand words, so go figure.
7: If in doubt, smoke
Itchy wouldn't normally advocate the use of nicotine, but desperate situations call for desperate measures. Standing outside with the fashion pack, Itchy had to resort to lighting just to gain some sense of belonging. We had a pack of biscuits stuffed in our bag but unleashing these would have been like shouting out ”I love TK Max! And food!“ to the assembled crowd.
8: Don't be timid
Itchy turned up earlier than most of the crowd and ended up sitting down after most of the crowd, due to darned politeness. Boldly approach the lackey on the door, state your credentials with conviction, then rudely elbow your way onto the front row.
9. If you see a goody bag, grab it
Itchy saw enticing goody bags floating their way towards the hallowed front rows but left the show bereft of our own. This must never, ever happen again. Should you spot such freebie-laden manna from heaven, grab, grab, GRAB! Phew.
10. Keep your eyes peeled for miscellaneous freebies
Itchy's rage at missing out on a goody bag was appeased a little after leaving with a pink, plastic-heart press badge (perfect fodder for poncy new necklace/broach) and two cards promising complimentary Benefit eyebrow waxes. Leave no stone unturned.
Sarah Jappy
(http://fledglingjourno.blogspot.com/)
