Itchy meets Mini-Me

It's a damp Monday night, but that hasn't deterred the hordes of revellers who've shown up to catch a glimpse of the littlest man in showbiz.

No, not Tom Cruise. We're talking teeny tiny. Measuring up to a mere two feet eight inches, Verne Troyer is better known as Dr Evil's mini-minion, Mini-Me, from the Austin Powers movies.

Itchy isn't sure what to expect, but Verne makes a grand entrance on his black and yellow scooter. He mounts a stepladder to the stage and greets the crowd, seeming both pleased and bashful about the attention.

There's more cheering and a general kerfuffle as he makes a swift exit on the scooter, and Itchy heads out back to meet him...

We only have time for some quick questions, as a couple of burly security dudes blockade the steaming queue, all waiting for a photo opp and an autograph.

So, what's your top London spot?

Verne fiddles with his pen. Itchy gets the feeling he and the big city aren't well acquainted.

'Er... Leicester Square, I guess.'

Traditional, but appropriate for one gracing the silver screen.

How about the new film?

'Well, it's called The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and my character is called Percival...'

Amid the boom of the speakers, Itchy loses the next five or six Christian names. Verne is sympathetic.

'That's Percy for short. He's Dr Parnassus' sidekick.'

Parnassuss is set to be huge, not only because it is the latest creative effort from original Monty Pythonian Terry Gilliam, but also because it is Heath Ledger's actual last film, contrary to what the Batman press machine would have you believe.

With so much hype in store, Itchy wonders if this has been Verne's favourite project so far?

'Well, that would have to be Austin Powers.'

And is the role of Mini-Me what he wants to be remembered for?

'No. I want to be known for other roles and to expand my career so that I'm known as an actor that can play serious roles, not just roles meant for little people.'

minime verne troyer interview imaginarium of doctor parnassus

And with that little nugget of truth and decency hanging in the air, Itchy is whisked away to allow Verne to spend some time with his mostly pissed fans.

The whole barmy night seems to be a pony short of a troupe, and smacks of the circus more than is entirely comfortable. We can't really imagine fellow Parnassus cast members Johnny Depp, Jude Law or Colin Farrell having to brave the den of Tiger Tiger in some kind of misguided PR stunt.

Itchy would love to have the time to sit down with Verne and ask him what it's really like to compete not only in Hollywood, but in a world of giants.

But, alas, the wheel of Hollywood stardom turns and leaves us lesser mortals back outside on the damp streets feeling, well... a bit small.

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